Watchmeburn
by catchastar101
Summary: What they show to the world is merely the tip of the iceberg of Natsu and Lucy's real relationship. As they acknowledge their feelings they deny themselves to openly give in... but for how long? (NaLu)
1. Chapter 1

_"_ _Just gonna stand there and watch me burn, but that's alright, because I like the way it hurts. Just gonna stand there and hear me cry, but that's alright, because I love the way you lie… I love the way you lie"_

Lucy knew it was impossible. She knew that even though she loved him, and he loved her, it would remain unspoken, and unacted upon. It's just how it was, how it had to be, and even though it burned and marred her soul, she would remain, here, in the flames of pain that she learned to call pleasure.

Seven years had passed. They had remained "frozen" for seven years, only to return to a world that had lost much of its luster. Their guild had fallen in reputation. Their friends had aged and became somewhat like strangers again. And others were now gone, and so was the chance to say goodbye.

 _"_ _Jude passed away a month ago. I'm very sorry."_

She heard the words play over and over again as she walked down the path towards town. She knew Natsu was following her and watching her very closely, though he remained silent. Happy had tried to break the silence, but Natsu quickly stopped him. Then she heard two foreign voices rising up from the path ahead. The two girls were bashing their fathers, calling them irritating, and annoying. Lucy clenched her jaw.

He had kept a good amount of space between them as they walked back towards town. He watched her every movement, aware of the burden weighing on her shoulders. He kept silent, offering her the sanctity of her own thoughts. Then those stupid girls appeared, and he felt the heat of anger rising from his chest as they spoke so crassly about their dads.

"…I wish he would just drop dead." One of the girls remarked.

Natsu's fury overtook his senses as he began to berate the girls.

She could hear his anger. She stopped walking, but didn't turn around.

"Stop." She called out calmly.

Natsu was caught off guard by this, and immediately became silent, his eyes roaming the figure in front of him. He felt guilty for having interrupted her thoughts.

"I'm sorry for putting you through all this trouble." Lucy whispered, keeping her eyes focused on the ground.

"Are you alright Lucy?" Happy asked.

She turned to them now, but kept her gaze averted. "Yeah…I'm just a little shocked about my dad."

She could have stopped there, but she allowed her thoughts to tumble from her mouth. "Two months ago, no wait, there were also those seven years huh? That time in Acalypha was the last time I ever saw him."

Finally, her eyes looked up to Natsu's, just for a moment, noting his silent and thoughtful stare back before continuing,

"Ever since I was a little kid, I never really liked him. Plus, there was that whole Phantom incident. But…" she clenched her hand around her purse strap, the words stinging as she spoke, "After what happened in Acalypha it felt like my relationship with my dad was going to change. Getting sick from working too hard." She laughed bitterly, "That's just like him. I wonder why it is…I feel sad, and I miss him…but, no tears are coming out." She wondered aloud, watching the sun setting. "I guess he really didn't mean that much to me…"

"Your wrong." Natsu's firm voice sounded. "I dunno how to explain it, but I don't think whether you got tears or not has anything to do with that."

"Mm, thanks." Lucy replied, as she quickly turned away from them. "Really, I'm…surprisingly okay."

She rejected his comfort. His strong voice had stroked her like warm caresses, and she had wanted to run to him, to be comforted by him, but then, she would just love him all the more, and the pain of that would too much to bare.

They walked quietly. Natsu slowly walked fast enough to reach her left side. Their fingers brushed, once, then soon again, until without words or looks, their fingertips started to lace together. Just the fingertips. It was never all, it was always just enough.

It was late by the time they reached town, and Lucy decided that it would be better to stay the night and continue back to Magnolia in the morning. She found a small inn and with what little money she had left she purchased a room. She didn't need to ask, there wasn't even a question as to what Natsu and Happy would do. She accepted her key, and walked to the small room with the pair in tow.

Natsu closed the door to the room behind him. He watched as Lucy quietly walked to the bed and sat upon its soft surface as she removed her shoes. He hadn't been able to look into her eyes since she expressed her thoughts about her dad on the path. She had kept her gaze downwards, her bangs blocking his view. He needed her to look at him. He needed to look into her eyes, to read what was there.

"Luce." He called out gently.

She slowly began to look up.

He waited. It took forever he thought for her eyes to finally reach him. But then it took only seconds once her chocolate eyes met his to read the pain within them.

Happy felt uncomfortable. He wanted to cheer up Lucy, but he didn't know how. He watched as Natsu and Lucy finally acknowledged each other. Natsu knew what to do. Happy was sure of it. Natsu would always protect Lucy. With that thought in mind he excused himself, saying he was going to fish for some dinner. Neither one of them acknowledged his statement and he flew from the window hoping that when he returned Lucy would be feeling better.

Once in the privacy of the inn room, and with Happy gone, the atmosphere changed quickly. It was in these rare and few occasions that the real relationship between Natsu and Lucy emerged.

"Luce. It's okay." Natsu said, as he walked towards the sitting blonde.

"What's wrong with me?" She asked, her voice betraying her sadness.

Natsu stood in front of her, arms crossed as he looked down at her small frame.

"Nothing is wrong with you Lucy. You are simply being you. Why would you expect yourself to break?"

"I just…I thought…"

"There you go thinking too much again. How many times do I have to remind you that sometimes you only got to feel? Stop thinkin' it Luce, and when you're ready, just feel it."

"I don't want to feel sadness tonight." She sighed. "and I don't want to think about it either. I just want to…I dunno, fade?"

She felt the bed shift under Natsu's weight as he sat next to her.

"Doesn't work that way." He said softly.

"If something were to happen to me…what would you feel?" Lucy asked, looking into his olive eyes.

She watched as his emotions flickered behind his eyes. There had been surprise, disgust, and anger, but no sadness she thought.

"I don't think about stuff like that." He said rather sharply.

He grabbed her tightly and pushed her back onto the bed, hovering over her. His face was almost touching hers, and she could feel his breath on her skin.

"I just…"

"My Lucy is right here!" His voice low, as he growled the words out loud. "I feel you, right here, right now, and that's all that matters."

He dipped his head to kiss the side of her neck.

"N-Natsu" Lucy whimpered at the feeling of his warm lips against her sensitive skin.

"Just be in this moment with me Luce." His voice vibrated hot against her neck.

His fingers started to lightly dance up her body, and she felt the tremors of pleasure rocking her body from within. Natsu's passion was undeniable, and uncontrollable. When he wanted her, he took her, and she was all too willing. The price was steep.

Her mind raced against the surging of heat welling up in her body. The flames of pleasure would always turn into pain at the longing for what she couldn't have. It was all a lie. This fucked up relationship that they hid; the secrets between them, in contrast to what the world saw and believed.

Natsu's lips began climbing the column of her throat to where they now hovered above her own lips. She reached her hands around his neck and pulled him towards her to connect the kiss. She loved the way he lied.

 **A/N: First off, it has been a long time since I've fanfictioned, but I really wanted to try a FT story about NaLu, the cutest and most intriguing "couple" I've encountered. The idea that they present themselves to everyone as best friends and teammates, while at the same time acknowledging and denying the relationship underneath…. This will be a multi-chapter, but I have an extremely busy lifestyle so please be patient with me on the updates. R/R please?!**

 **Xoxo**

 **Catchastar101**


	2. Chapter 2

" _I can't tell you what it really is I can only tell you what it feels like. And right now there's a steel knife, in my windpipe. I can't breathe, but I still fight, while I can fight. As long as the wrong feels right, it's like I'm in flight"_

Natsu was unable to sleep. As he stood by the small window of the rented inn room, he watched Lucy as she slept on the small bed. By the time Happy had returned, Lucy had been fast asleep. Happy himself was also now asleep; curled closely next to Lucy. Natsu simply watched them while his mind circled. Lucy was hurting. The loss of her father, the seven missing years, the feelings she harbored for him, he knew she was fighting it all down but losing.

He didn't know what to do about her feelings regarding her late father. They had a complex relationship, and she was extremely guarded when it came to her family. He could only be there for her when and if she ever opened up.

As for the missing years; well he didn't really understand why she was so sad. Sure it was a little weird seeing everyone else having aged. He was also furious about the current reputation of Fairy Tail, but he wasn't really sad about anything. What was there to be sad about?

He gently shook his head. Must be a girl thing.

Then, there were Lucy's feelings about him, and his feelings about her.

He sighed. This crazy relationship that had somehow formed was taking a toll on them both. What exactly was _this_ anyways?

He recalled their early passion filled session. He never planned those moments, they always just seemed to happen. He would be suddenly filled with this need, this craving, to consume, Lucy. It was wrong and it was so right. Being with Lucy, not just as teammates and best friends, but being with her as one person, filling her body with his own, marking her tender flesh with his hands and teeth; it was his own piece of heaven. It was how he released his own pain, but what about Luce? She would consume his flames, let them burn across her body, selflessly taking it upon herself, while in return he could offer her nothing.

He wasn't boyfriend material. Certainly not for Lucy. Yet he would never allow another man to take her from him.

He knew though that Lucy, even given the chance, would never leave him. She loved him. And he truly did love her.

Lucy sighed in her sleep, interrupting his train of thought. Her blond hair sprawled across the pillows shown in the pale moonlight entering the room.

They may be showing the world a lie. They were certainly more than what everyone saw, but what they were shouldn't be named or spoken. It had to remain this way, as painful as it was….for now.

Natsu slowly eased himself into the bed and pulled Lucy close to his body. For these rare moments he could at least offer his strength, and his warmth. Someday he could offer his heart.

Presents and letters laid open as the tears freely cascaded down her face. Her Papa had written he loved her, and she mourned that she couldn't hear him say the words. She mourned that she may never hear those words spoken to her again.

 **A/N: I know this is a really short chapter update, sorry! I hope some of you are enjoying this story. I'm trying to find the right balance of angst and fluff otherwise I'm afraid they will become too OOC… idk, I'm rambling now I guess. R/R please? xoxo**


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